The original:
Congratulations you have been seleted by the world Charity
Donations Organization,for the some payout of ($850,000.00)
for this year 2009 world Donations.Contact your payment officer.payment-release-order-form,FULL
NAMES:
ADDRESS:
COUNTRY:
SEX:
AGE:
OCCUPATION:
Email: agentlottor@administrativos.com
Mr Frank Odogun
The Response
Hey there,
Well I am suprised to have won this, considering I am on a different planet most of the time. Earth is like my summer home. I totally live on the Planet Mondo with the Lord High Executioner Ko-Ko.
I mean, we don't deal in earth money on my planet, we deal in Dilly Dops. Can I get the money changed to like that denomination? I mean, that would be great.
The breakdown is like this
$1.00 USD is like half a Dilly Dop, so like just double that amount, and you got it.
Full Names: Cesarean Sec Suhn
Address: Planet Mondo. Third House on the Right.
Country: and Western
Sex: You offering?
Age: Eons and Eons
Occupation: Monkey Sexer at the Monkey Egg Factory
Thank you,
Mr. Cesarean Sec Shun, ESQ, OBE
Another One:
You have won the sum of Seven Hundred And Ten Thousand Pounds from Microsoft Company on our October/November 2009 End of year bonanza.
You are to contact him with your details below;
1.Name.
2.Address.
3.Nationality.
4.Age.
5.Occupation.
6.Phone/Fax.
Contact Person:Greg Walter
Email :gregwalter2116@hotmail.com
gregwalter2117@hotmail.com
Congratulations once again.
Regards,
Dr.Mary Simon
Microsoft Award Office England
De inhoud van dit bericht is vertrouwelijk en alleen bestemd voor de geadresseerde(n). Anderen dan de geadresseerde(n) mogen geen gebruik maken van dit bericht, het niet openbaar maken of op enige wijze verspreiden of vermenigvuldigen. Het UMCG kan niet aansprakelijk gesteld worden voor een incomplete aankomst of vertraging van dit verzonden bericht.
The contents of this message are confidential and only intended for the eyes of the addressee(s). Others than the addressee(s) are not allowed to use this message, to make it public or to distribute or multiply this message in any way. The UMCG cannot be held responsible for incomplete reception or delay of this transferred message.
Dear Greg,
I can speak gobbledygook too! Watch! Farley farley farley hufurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Gip gip gip gip gip gip NANNY! WhooWhooWhoo! NuckNuckNuck! Durpa durpa durp! Tum ta teetaly tum ta tum!
I so wanna be involved in this bonanza. Will Hoss and Little Joe be there?
Name: Humungo Harris
Address: Withheld for legal reasons
Nationality: I am a national treasure
Age: Older than you
Occupation: Super Hero
Phone/Fax: Who has a fax machine any more?
You know how to reach me. Now do it.
Don't make me dance for you.
-H.H.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
YOUR PARCKEGE
Attn,
I have paid the fee for your cheque draft and i took it to the FINANCIAL BANK PLC to confirm it then the Manager of the Bank MR BENARD UGO told me that before the check can get to you it will expire on the way and if it expired it will become useless so He advice me to convert $1.2m (ONE MILLION TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS) into cash and pack it into the strong iron box and deposit it in FEDEX EXPRESS DELIVERY COMPANY BENIN REPUBLIC to deliver it in cash to you.and i did it as he advice me because he is a banker he knows the durability of any foriegn check or draft.
I deposited the said package in the FedEX EXpress Delivey Company as an cotton materials for ecuirty reasons. This is the registration Number of your Package Fed/122p/mtm/2007 Zip Code;0113388 so do not let the company to know the real contents of the package so that they can deliver it for you safely.
I want you to contact the company immediately with the following informations though i give them your information but you need to reconfirm it for them.Below is the required
infomation you need to give them now,
1.YOUR FULL NAME AND HOME ADDRESS
2.YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBER
3.A COPY OF YOUR PHOTO
4.YOUR AGE AND MARITAL STATUS
All these things is needed from you now to submmit to the company for urgent delivery of your package contains $1.2M Please contact the delivery company immediately and reconfirm your info to them to enable their agent locate you when he arrived in our country.This is the company contact info.
DR.JAMES BROWN Director General
Tel;+22998452423
Email;(fedex_delivery44@sify.com)
FEDEX EXpress Delivery Company Benin Republic.
Please contact the company immediately you receive this email so that your package will leave tonight to be deliver to you.Get back to me as soon as you receive your package from the company.
God Bless you..
SECRETARY JOHN UBA
My response:
Dear Fed-Ex,
So my buddy John Uba tells me you're with holding my package cause you don't have my information. Well here's the information you need, cause I need that fuckin money! i don't think you know who you are dealing with here. I am the upmost supreme taco here. You don't fuck with me man. If that money is in my name, it's in my name. That means it's mine, You don't mess with me or my friends. Especially John. He's a badass who's got a bad ass knife. So here's that fuckin info for my parckege.
Name: Ottoman M. Pire
Home Address: 10050 Cielo Drive, Benidict Canyon, Saskatoon. 33894
Occupation: Underwriter for NPR Blood Drives
Photo is attached.
Age:35
Marital Status-Seriously Regretting it.
So there you are. i Better get my fuckin money,
-Ottoman
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Compliment of the Day TO YOU!
-----Original Message-----
From: Harper And Company
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Sent: Mon, Nov 2, 2009 3:37 pm
Subject: HELLO
FROM THE DESK OF MR. LEE KIM-CHUNG
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF THE HANG SENG BANK LTD,
SAI WAN HO BRANCH SHAUKIWAN ROAD,
HONG KONG.
Dear Friend,
Compliment of the day to you, although you may be sceptical receiving this
email as we have not met before, I am Mr. Lee Kim-Chung I work with Hang
Seng Bank Ltd. I have a business proposition involving the sum of
$24,500,000.00USD in my bank which will be of mutual benefit to both of us.
Should you be interested, please forward the following to me:
1.Full names,
2.Occupation,
3.Private phone number,
4.Current residential address.
Via this email address:info_leekim@yahoo.com
Your earliest response to this mail will be highly appreciated.
Kind Regards
Lee Kim-Chung.
My Response
Mr. Lee,
Compliment of the day to you too! I only am responding because the compliment of the day is "My, what a big penis you have!" I am not sure how that applys to you, but it is certainly applicable to me! I am very much so interested in this money, but what does USD stand for? I like my money in American Dollars, not some forgeind currentcy.
If we can fix that, I am more than willing to give the information. Aw, what the hell, Here is it anyway!
Name-Winthrop "Taint" Jones
Occupation-Animal Waste Management
Phone Number-887-328-744$
Current Address: 1000000050 Cielo Drive, Benedict Canyon, Los Angeles, 90210
Plus, I'd like two orders of the Sweet and Sour Pork and an eggroll.
Kind Regards,
Taint
From: Harper And Company
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Sent: Mon, Nov 2, 2009 3:37 pm
Subject: HELLO
FROM THE DESK OF MR. LEE KIM-CHUNG
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF THE HANG SENG BANK LTD,
SAI WAN HO BRANCH SHAUKIWAN ROAD,
HONG KONG.
Dear Friend,
Compliment of the day to you, although you may be sceptical receiving this
email as we have not met before, I am Mr. Lee Kim-Chung I work with Hang
Seng Bank Ltd. I have a business proposition involving the sum of
$24,500,000.00USD in my bank which will be of mutual benefit to both of us.
Should you be interested, please forward the following to me:
1.Full names,
2.Occupation,
3.Private phone number,
4.Current residential address.
Via this email address:info_leekim@yahoo.com
Your earliest response to this mail will be highly appreciated.
Kind Regards
Lee Kim-Chung.
My Response
Mr. Lee,
Compliment of the day to you too! I only am responding because the compliment of the day is "My, what a big penis you have!" I am not sure how that applys to you, but it is certainly applicable to me! I am very much so interested in this money, but what does USD stand for? I like my money in American Dollars, not some forgeind currentcy.
If we can fix that, I am more than willing to give the information. Aw, what the hell, Here is it anyway!
Name-Winthrop "Taint" Jones
Occupation-Animal Waste Management
Phone Number-887-328-744$
Current Address: 1000000050 Cielo Drive, Benedict Canyon, Los Angeles, 90210
Plus, I'd like two orders of the Sweet and Sour Pork and an eggroll.
Kind Regards,
Taint
More poisonings in Africa
- Dear Friend,
It is my great pleasure and the trust which I have on you, though we have not met before, neither have we seen for the first time, but before I picked up your E-mail contact and write to you I prayed over it that God should direct me to a trustworthy and God fearing partner who will help me to invest this money in a good business
For this will permit me to go into business relationship with you, since I have made up my mind to make this Funds transfer with you, My name is Mrs. Faith Memuna Adams. A 45 years old wife of Late Dr. Williams Zongo Adams who was a Cocoa and Gold marchant in Cotonou Republic of Benin and we have only one Child his is name BENJAMIN SAHA ADAMS.My husband was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their business outings to Accra Ghana,on 19th of Oct 2005. Before the death of my husband on the 26th December 2005 in the Benin Republic National Hospital. He sincerely called me on his bed side and told me that he had a sum of ($5M) which he deposited in Finance Firm.
The Funds deposit was made in his name secretly and he further explained to me that it was because of his wealth that he was poisoned by his business associates as a result of greeds and jelousy, that I should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where I will transfer this money and use it for investment purposes and His son's good education as that has been the purpose he kept the Fund in the bank all these while with the deposit code stated "STRICTLY FOR ONWARD TRANSFER"
I want you to assist me by investing this money into a good business and also be a guardian over this money I am honourably seeking for your assistance in the following ways.
(1)To assist me to transfer this money into your bank account successfully
(2)To make arrangements for me and my son to come over to your country for Investments
(3)You will also be ready to accomodate us in your House for some time atleast till when we will be ready to stay on our own
(4)To help secure admission in a good University to enable him finish his educational career in your country
In line with this,I am willing to offer you 30% percent of the total sum as compensation for your effort/input after the successfull transfer of this fund in your bank account
I believe that this transaction would be concluded within 10 working days hitch freely as the bank Director promised me that he will commence on the transfer immediately if I provide a Business partner with a foreign bank account for remittance as the Funds Deposit code stipulates
I am waiting to hear from you soonest and also endeavour to confirm Your direct Telephone and Fax Numbers so that I can call you for easy communications
Thanks and God bless you for your kind understanding
Best Regards,Mrs.Faith Memuna Adams and son Benjamin. + 229 97 00 49 48.
My Response:
Dear Mrs.Adams,
Cocoa Merchants are dropping like flies in Africa! I have recived several emails in the last few days telling me about the plight of the families of Cocoa merchants. They all seem to be poisoned and then secretly call someone over to their bed side and tell them about a secret stash of money. Those other emails seemed fake, but yours seeems very real indeed.
I am sorry to hear about your son and your plight but I am more than happy to accept the money and accept you two into my home. Unfortunately, I live in an abandoned boxcar and check my email at the local library. I wash myself in the river, and I have sex with fish.
The United States is very lovely and generous to the plight of the homeless, like me. You can live like a king here for little to no money and with yur generous offering of money, we could be safe from all the elements for at least a month, if we are careful! So, please, yes, lets make this happen!
My name: Mathais "Hot Dog" Malone
My Phone Number: 222-222-&%$3
My Address: Old Box Car, on the back road
Occupation: Fish Sexer
I would greatly appriciate a response from you if you would like to make this happen.
Yours
Hotdog
It is my great pleasure and the trust which I have on you, though we have not met before, neither have we seen for the first time, but before I picked up your E-mail contact and write to you I prayed over it that God should direct me to a trustworthy and God fearing partner who will help me to invest this money in a good business
For this will permit me to go into business relationship with you, since I have made up my mind to make this Funds transfer with you, My name is Mrs. Faith Memuna Adams. A 45 years old wife of Late Dr. Williams Zongo Adams who was a Cocoa and Gold marchant in Cotonou Republic of Benin and we have only one Child his is name BENJAMIN SAHA ADAMS.My husband was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their business outings to Accra Ghana,on 19th of Oct 2005. Before the death of my husband on the 26th December 2005 in the Benin Republic National Hospital. He sincerely called me on his bed side and told me that he had a sum of ($5M) which he deposited in Finance Firm.
The Funds deposit was made in his name secretly and he further explained to me that it was because of his wealth that he was poisoned by his business associates as a result of greeds and jelousy, that I should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where I will transfer this money and use it for investment purposes and His son's good education as that has been the purpose he kept the Fund in the bank all these while with the deposit code stated "STRICTLY FOR ONWARD TRANSFER"
I want you to assist me by investing this money into a good business and also be a guardian over this money I am honourably seeking for your assistance in the following ways.
(1)To assist me to transfer this money into your bank account successfully
(2)To make arrangements for me and my son to come over to your country for Investments
(3)You will also be ready to accomodate us in your House for some time atleast till when we will be ready to stay on our own
(4)To help secure admission in a good University to enable him finish his educational career in your country
In line with this,I am willing to offer you 30% percent of the total sum as compensation for your effort/input after the successfull transfer of this fund in your bank account
I believe that this transaction would be concluded within 10 working days hitch freely as the bank Director promised me that he will commence on the transfer immediately if I provide a Business partner with a foreign bank account for remittance as the Funds Deposit code stipulates
I am waiting to hear from you soonest and also endeavour to confirm Your direct Telephone and Fax Numbers so that I can call you for easy communications
Thanks and God bless you for your kind understanding
Best Regards,Mrs.Faith Memuna Adams and son Benjamin. + 229 97 00 49 48.
My Response:
Dear Mrs.Adams,
Cocoa Merchants are dropping like flies in Africa! I have recived several emails in the last few days telling me about the plight of the families of Cocoa merchants. They all seem to be poisoned and then secretly call someone over to their bed side and tell them about a secret stash of money. Those other emails seemed fake, but yours seeems very real indeed.
I am sorry to hear about your son and your plight but I am more than happy to accept the money and accept you two into my home. Unfortunately, I live in an abandoned boxcar and check my email at the local library. I wash myself in the river, and I have sex with fish.
The United States is very lovely and generous to the plight of the homeless, like me. You can live like a king here for little to no money and with yur generous offering of money, we could be safe from all the elements for at least a month, if we are careful! So, please, yes, lets make this happen!
My name: Mathais "Hot Dog" Malone
My Phone Number: 222-222-&%$3
My Address: Old Box Car, on the back road
Occupation: Fish Sexer
I would greatly appriciate a response from you if you would like to make this happen.
Yours
Hotdog
Monday, November 2, 2009
Dr. Dembile wants my Surname!
----Original Message-----
From: Dr. David Dembile
Sent: Mon, Nov 2, 2009 6:21 am
Subject: SURNAME
Dear Friend,
My name is Dr. David Dembile, a legal practitioner with Dembile & Associates in
South Africa . I am contacting you because you have the same surname as my
deceased client and I believe that you can help me in the transfer of the sum of
$11, 500, 000 (Eleven Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) that
my deceased client deposited in a security company here in South Africa shortly
before he died.
I require your assistance and partnership in transferring the funds out of my
country. You will be required to: -
(1) Assist in the transfer of the said sum.
(2) Advise on lucrative areas for subsequent investment.
(3) Assist me in purchase of landed & viable properties.
I have all the information and guidance to enable you and I realize this
opportunity. Kindly reconfirm your full names and contact telephone number for
confirmation and for me to give you more information about this transaction.
Time is not in our favour; please establish secured communication with me
through my email address below.
Regards,
Dr. David Dembile
My Response:
Dr. Dembile,
My full name is Ottoman M. Pire. I don't think any of my family has worked in South Africa since they were run out when Apartheid was suddenly deemed not a good idea, but you never know. My uncle Feuneral (Pronounced 'Few Near All') Pire has been missing for weeks and weeks and weeks and months and months and months and years and years and years. This maybe could be the reletive of which you speak?
My Uncle Few was such a class act. He used to tell me "Never fight fair with a stranger, boy. You'll never get out of the jungle that way" Always wore a panama hat and a nice white suit. He said he was going "Diamond Mining" 10 years ago, and we didn't know what he meant.
So, my phone number is KL5-555-?<>?
I also have some swampland in Florida, well it's not mine, but it will be, after I do my hostile take over of Disneyland.
I'll keep you posted
Yours,
Otttoman M. Pire
From: Dr. David Dembile
Sent: Mon, Nov 2, 2009 6:21 am
Subject: SURNAME
Dear Friend,
My name is Dr. David Dembile, a legal practitioner with Dembile & Associates in
South Africa . I am contacting you because you have the same surname as my
deceased client and I believe that you can help me in the transfer of the sum of
$11, 500, 000 (Eleven Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) that
my deceased client deposited in a security company here in South Africa shortly
before he died.
I require your assistance and partnership in transferring the funds out of my
country. You will be required to: -
(1) Assist in the transfer of the said sum.
(2) Advise on lucrative areas for subsequent investment.
(3) Assist me in purchase of landed & viable properties.
I have all the information and guidance to enable you and I realize this
opportunity. Kindly reconfirm your full names and contact telephone number for
confirmation and for me to give you more information about this transaction.
Time is not in our favour; please establish secured communication with me
through my email address below.
Regards,
Dr. David Dembile
My Response:
Dr. Dembile,
My full name is Ottoman M. Pire. I don't think any of my family has worked in South Africa since they were run out when Apartheid was suddenly deemed not a good idea, but you never know. My uncle Feuneral (Pronounced 'Few Near All') Pire has been missing for weeks and weeks and weeks and months and months and months and years and years and years. This maybe could be the reletive of which you speak?
My Uncle Few was such a class act. He used to tell me "Never fight fair with a stranger, boy. You'll never get out of the jungle that way" Always wore a panama hat and a nice white suit. He said he was going "Diamond Mining" 10 years ago, and we didn't know what he meant.
So, my phone number is KL5-555-?<>?
I also have some swampland in Florida, well it's not mine, but it will be, after I do my hostile take over of Disneyland.
I'll keep you posted
Yours,
Otttoman M. Pire
The whole Micheal Kuhn/ IMF Saga
Okay, so I have had an adventure with "Micheal Kuhn" who is at "The International Monetary Fund" Here is the saga as it unfolds, all together in one blog. Enjoy.
-----Original Message-----
From: MICHAEL KUHN
Sent: Wed, Oct 28, 2009 5:14 pm
Subject: YOUR OUTSTNDING PAYMENT
Michael Kuhn
Monetary and Capital Markets
Department Acting Director
Good day,
I found your name in the Central Computer among the list of unpaid (Contractors,
Inheritance next of kin and lotto beneficiaries that was originated from
American, Europe, Asia plus Middle east and Africans, among the list of
individuals and companies that your unpaid fund has been located to the Standard
Chartered Bank, HSBC, Barclays Bank, Natwest Bank, Bank of America, Eco Bank
Nigeria plc and CBN Plus ATM payment to mention only but few. Your name appeared
among the beneficiaries who will receive a part- payment of US$15.5 million and
has been approved already for months. You are requested to get back to me for
more direction and instruction on how to receive your fund.
However, we received an email from one Dr. Robert Walter who told us that he is
your next of kin and that you died in an auto crash some weeks. Dr Robert
Walter submitted account co-ordinates are as follows:
Bank of Lebanon
A/c no: 890458984589
Routing No: bl 275-79665
Aba no: BL-ANAJFG-FL
Beneficiary: Dr Robert Walter
He has also submitted his account for us to transfer the fund to him.We write to
confirm the genuinety of his information before the transfer could be made to
him accordingly, I apologize to you on behalf Of International Monetary Fund
(IMF) if we have received a false nformation http://www
failure to receive your funds earlier before now, which according to records in
the system has
been long overdue.
RECONFIRM YOUR INFORMATION BELOW IF YOU DID NOT INSTRUCT HIM
Your Full Name:
Address:
Telephone number:
Age:
Occupation:
Yours sincerely,
Michael Kuhn
Monetary and Capital Markets
Department Acting Director
Dearest Mike Kuhnt,
Oh my! I don't knoe a Dr. Walker and I am CERTINLY not dead. Actually, I am very much alive and hope to recive my money.
The informations you asked for:
Your Full Name: Ottoman M. Pire
Address: 10050 Cielo Drive, Benedict Canyon, Los Angeles, 90210
Telephone number: 887-794-7921
Age: 32
Occupation: Dancing Bear for the Russian Circus
I am hopeful to recives this money so I can make my blessings come true. Thank you for bbeing such a find human bean. There shuld be more pepoles like you.
Yours,
Ottoman M. Pire
His Response-
inance Department Director
International Monetary Fund. IMF
Attn; Ottoman M. Pire,
This is notify you that we understand your feelings surrounding your plight on your effort to receive your fund previously and inorder to clean up the situation, the International Monetary Fund {IMF} got involved to make sure that legitimate beneficiary like you were honestly and sincerely paid their funds to their respective Countrie's bank account.
I will only advice you to work harmonously with us at this point to ensure that you receive your fund to your designated bank account any where in the World so far you have the total control of the bank account to yourself.
We are going to take your instruction to make sure that your blessing comes through as you have indicated, I understand it categorrically that the bank will need a counter Affidavit of Claims for the year 2009 to process your immediate and legitimate transfer of the fund to your account in USA.
With this legal document of Affidavit, The issue of "back-room" and in the "dark" for your transfer and matter of exchanging data/divert of your fund to a wrong account will be totally take care off by the Legitimate Federal High Court and there will be no more divert of any kind once the Court has raise their Legal Powers on your name.
Once the Affidavit is obtained, I will give you directives on how you will receive your fund without any kind of hitch within 48 banking hours. You need to provide your full banking account where you want us to wire the funds.
With Regards to your person,
Michael Kuhn,
Finance Department Director
International Monetary Fund. IMF
Dear Micheal,
Thank you for helping me out here. I am sure I would be lost if not for such wonderful people in your countrie. Now, for a bumbshell. My name is not Ottoman M. Pire, but James Riddle Hoffa. ! I have been hiding out in these United States for 34 years. I need this money in order to come out of hiding and secure my place in the world once again. I am telling you this because you seem like a trustworthy soul who can keep a secret.
Obtaining the Affadavit will be a tough. if you could assist me, not using my old name, but my legal and quite real new name (Ottoman M. Pire. The M stands for Mildred), i would forever be in your debt. I would even pay you some of the money for your help. I know how that works, one hand washes the other. I should know, i was in the mafia, but everyone called it the union. Ever seen the film "The Godfather"? My life was nothing like that, it was just a good movie.
As for this Dr. Walker character, we (By that, I mean, the royal we), have taken care of his lying ways. He will no longer be able to walk (Wink, Wink), drive (Wink wink wink), or Breathe (wink wink wink wink wink wink) any mores. He told us (Plural, as in there were more than one of me) it was all your idea. He begged us to let him go, but we know that you yourself are a wonderful and trustworthy person.
So, Micheal, what i am saying: Don't fuck with us. Help us out and your will be rewarded the sum of 32 thousand teddy bears. And we'll also give it to you "In the back room"
Yours in Sexiness
Ottoman "Actually Jimmy Hoffa" M. Pire
Dancing bear for the Russian circus.
-----Original Message-----
From: Micheal Kuhn
Sent: Mon, Nov 2, 2009 12:15 pm
Subject: Dear Jimmy Hoffa" M. Pire
Dear Jimmy Hoffa" M. Pire
I think I have read your email very carefully, and I wish to state categorically the modus operandy of this agency, we are sorry to inform you that contacting you is never been a child's play, hence you have submitted face identoficvtion to us, we are unable to continue the process with you.
Sincerely,
Michael kuhn
Dear Micheal,
Great. Now I know you are serious, let's get started on the real shit. Those other names, yes they were lies. But that was only meant to throw you off from my real identity. My real name is "Bungalow" Eddie Kabrikian. I sell toasters and toaster accessories to bored housewives in Spokane. But what you should know is that if you had been "reading carefully" you would have realized I was doing "a child's play" all along. Besides, any real international organization worth it's weight in Nigerian Dollars can tell you "Modus Operandy", "face identoficvtion" are misspelled, as are many of your other words in many of your other emails. I am glad we are not doing business together or continuing this process because you can't spell.
Plus, selling toasters and toaster accessories is very profitable and I don't need your money. Plus, I can have as much sex with the bored housewives as I want. Plus, I am an extreterrestrial, and have powers way beyond that of a normal human bean. Plus, I am a ninja and I have throwing stars and uh, last time I checked, you didn't. Plus, Dances with Wolves won an Oscar. Plus, Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galatica.
So, have fun, good luck, and thank you
"Bungalow" Eddie Kabrikian
-----Original Message-----
From: MICHAEL KUHN
Sent: Wed, Oct 28, 2009 5:14 pm
Subject: YOUR OUTSTNDING PAYMENT
Michael Kuhn
Monetary and Capital Markets
Department Acting Director
Good day,
I found your name in the Central Computer among the list of unpaid (Contractors,
Inheritance next of kin and lotto beneficiaries that was originated from
American, Europe, Asia plus Middle east and Africans, among the list of
individuals and companies that your unpaid fund has been located to the Standard
Chartered Bank, HSBC, Barclays Bank, Natwest Bank, Bank of America, Eco Bank
Nigeria plc and CBN Plus ATM payment to mention only but few. Your name appeared
among the beneficiaries who will receive a part- payment of US$15.5 million and
has been approved already for months. You are requested to get back to me for
more direction and instruction on how to receive your fund.
However, we received an email from one Dr. Robert Walter who told us that he is
your next of kin and that you died in an auto crash some weeks. Dr Robert
Walter submitted account co-ordinates are as follows:
Bank of Lebanon
A/c no: 890458984589
Routing No: bl 275-79665
Aba no: BL-ANAJFG-FL
Beneficiary: Dr Robert Walter
He has also submitted his account for us to transfer the fund to him.We write to
confirm the genuinety of his information before the transfer could be made to
him accordingly, I apologize to you on behalf Of International Monetary Fund
(IMF) if we have received a false nformation http://www
failure to receive your funds earlier before now, which according to records in
the system has
been long overdue.
RECONFIRM YOUR INFORMATION BELOW IF YOU DID NOT INSTRUCT HIM
Your Full Name:
Address:
Telephone number:
Age:
Occupation:
Yours sincerely,
Michael Kuhn
Monetary and Capital Markets
Department Acting Director
Dearest Mike Kuhnt,
Oh my! I don't knoe a Dr. Walker and I am CERTINLY not dead. Actually, I am very much alive and hope to recive my money.
The informations you asked for:
Your Full Name: Ottoman M. Pire
Address: 10050 Cielo Drive, Benedict Canyon, Los Angeles, 90210
Telephone number: 887-794-7921
Age: 32
Occupation: Dancing Bear for the Russian Circus
I am hopeful to recives this money so I can make my blessings come true. Thank you for bbeing such a find human bean. There shuld be more pepoles like you.
Yours,
Ottoman M. Pire
His Response-
inance Department Director
International Monetary Fund. IMF
Attn; Ottoman M. Pire,
This is notify you that we understand your feelings surrounding your plight on your effort to receive your fund previously and inorder to clean up the situation, the International Monetary Fund {IMF} got involved to make sure that legitimate beneficiary like you were honestly and sincerely paid their funds to their respective Countrie's bank account.
I will only advice you to work harmonously with us at this point to ensure that you receive your fund to your designated bank account any where in the World so far you have the total control of the bank account to yourself.
We are going to take your instruction to make sure that your blessing comes through as you have indicated, I understand it categorrically that the bank will need a counter Affidavit of Claims for the year 2009 to process your immediate and legitimate transfer of the fund to your account in USA.
With this legal document of Affidavit, The issue of "back-room" and in the "dark" for your transfer and matter of exchanging data/divert of your fund to a wrong account will be totally take care off by the Legitimate Federal High Court and there will be no more divert of any kind once the Court has raise their Legal Powers on your name.
Once the Affidavit is obtained, I will give you directives on how you will receive your fund without any kind of hitch within 48 banking hours. You need to provide your full banking account where you want us to wire the funds.
With Regards to your person,
Michael Kuhn,
Finance Department Director
International Monetary Fund. IMF
Dear Micheal,
Thank you for helping me out here. I am sure I would be lost if not for such wonderful people in your countrie. Now, for a bumbshell. My name is not Ottoman M. Pire, but James Riddle Hoffa. ! I have been hiding out in these United States for 34 years. I need this money in order to come out of hiding and secure my place in the world once again. I am telling you this because you seem like a trustworthy soul who can keep a secret.
Obtaining the Affadavit will be a tough. if you could assist me, not using my old name, but my legal and quite real new name (Ottoman M. Pire. The M stands for Mildred), i would forever be in your debt. I would even pay you some of the money for your help. I know how that works, one hand washes the other. I should know, i was in the mafia, but everyone called it the union. Ever seen the film "The Godfather"? My life was nothing like that, it was just a good movie.
As for this Dr. Walker character, we (By that, I mean, the royal we), have taken care of his lying ways. He will no longer be able to walk (Wink, Wink), drive (Wink wink wink), or Breathe (wink wink wink wink wink wink) any mores. He told us (Plural, as in there were more than one of me) it was all your idea. He begged us to let him go, but we know that you yourself are a wonderful and trustworthy person.
So, Micheal, what i am saying: Don't fuck with us. Help us out and your will be rewarded the sum of 32 thousand teddy bears. And we'll also give it to you "In the back room"
Yours in Sexiness
Ottoman "Actually Jimmy Hoffa" M. Pire
Dancing bear for the Russian circus.
-----Original Message-----
From: Micheal Kuhn
Sent: Mon, Nov 2, 2009 12:15 pm
Subject: Dear Jimmy Hoffa" M. Pire
Dear Jimmy Hoffa" M. Pire
I think I have read your email very carefully, and I wish to state categorically the modus operandy of this agency, we are sorry to inform you that contacting you is never been a child's play, hence you have submitted face identoficvtion to us, we are unable to continue the process with you.
Sincerely,
Michael kuhn
Dear Micheal,
Great. Now I know you are serious, let's get started on the real shit. Those other names, yes they were lies. But that was only meant to throw you off from my real identity. My real name is "Bungalow" Eddie Kabrikian. I sell toasters and toaster accessories to bored housewives in Spokane. But what you should know is that if you had been "reading carefully" you would have realized I was doing "a child's play" all along. Besides, any real international organization worth it's weight in Nigerian Dollars can tell you "Modus Operandy", "face identoficvtion" are misspelled, as are many of your other words in many of your other emails. I am glad we are not doing business together or continuing this process because you can't spell.
Plus, selling toasters and toaster accessories is very profitable and I don't need your money. Plus, I can have as much sex with the bored housewives as I want. Plus, I am an extreterrestrial, and have powers way beyond that of a normal human bean. Plus, I am a ninja and I have throwing stars and uh, last time I checked, you didn't. Plus, Dances with Wolves won an Oscar. Plus, Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galatica.
So, have fun, good luck, and thank you
"Bungalow" Eddie Kabrikian
READY YOUR GOOD NEWS MASSAGE!
----Original Message-----
From: MR EZE UDO.
Sent: Tue, Aug 18, 2009 4:34 pm
Subject: READY YOUR GOOD NEWS MASSAGE
Attention My Dear,
I have contacted my secretary to confirm if you have received the compensation
draft cheque of (US$2.5Million USD) which I issued in your name, but he told me
that he could not send it to you because of the courier charges. Now I have
called my bank to cancel any payment regards to the draft cheque and then
authorized them to transfer the payment into ATM CARD in your name which they
did. As of now be informed that all charges has been paid and the ATM CARD is
going to be in your name, but to reactivate the ATM Card you have to forward
your current informations as requested below to the bank and the only money you
will pay to the bank is US$125 for the ATM Card Reactification fee, then they
will send you the ATM CARD for your immediate use.
Here are the informations you have to forward to the bank:
1. FULL NAMES:______
2. POSTAL ADDRESS:_______
3. PHONE NUMBER:_________
4. CELL NUMBERS:_______
5. EMAIL ADDRESS:________
6. NATIONALITY:________
CONTACT PERSON: DR.HENRY IKEM
Director, ATM Foreign Operation Dept.
INTERCONTINENTAL Bank Cotonou, Benin Republic.
Phone: + 229 9819 9062
Email:(atm.interbank1@sify.com)
Get back to me once you received the ATM CARD ok.
Thanks and God bless you.
MR EZE UDO.
My Response
Mr. Eze Udo,
Hell yeah! Fuckin rite dood! 2.5 Million! Man, they should call you E-Z Udo cause it's so E-Z to like, get awesome shit from you!
Dood, this is so awesome!!!!!1!!!!! I've never had an ATM before. If it only cost 125 for an ATM, how much is it for a Cleveland Steamer? Dose she chili dog it too?
How much is that? I mean, ATM must be awesome if you have to have a card for it! That like means you're special and shit!
Alright, totally sign me up. Does your secretary do anal too? I mean, if she does ATM she's gotta do anal!
Name: Methais "Hot Dog" Malone
Postal Address: 10050 Cielo Drive, Benedict Canyon, Los Angeles 90210
Phone Number: 555-555-5666
EmailAddress: Ilikebananasupmybutt@dicksniff.net
Nationality: Amer-I-Fuckin-Can!
Once that shit comes through, It'll be time for a Champange Jam!
-Hotdog.
From: MR EZE UDO.
Sent: Tue, Aug 18, 2009 4:34 pm
Subject: READY YOUR GOOD NEWS MASSAGE
Attention My Dear,
I have contacted my secretary to confirm if you have received the compensation
draft cheque of (US$2.5Million USD) which I issued in your name, but he told me
that he could not send it to you because of the courier charges. Now I have
called my bank to cancel any payment regards to the draft cheque and then
authorized them to transfer the payment into ATM CARD in your name which they
did. As of now be informed that all charges has been paid and the ATM CARD is
going to be in your name, but to reactivate the ATM Card you have to forward
your current informations as requested below to the bank and the only money you
will pay to the bank is US$125 for the ATM Card Reactification fee, then they
will send you the ATM CARD for your immediate use.
Here are the informations you have to forward to the bank:
1. FULL NAMES:______
2. POSTAL ADDRESS:_______
3. PHONE NUMBER:_________
4. CELL NUMBERS:_______
5. EMAIL ADDRESS:________
6. NATIONALITY:________
CONTACT PERSON: DR.HENRY IKEM
Director, ATM Foreign Operation Dept.
INTERCONTINENTAL Bank Cotonou, Benin Republic.
Phone: + 229 9819 9062
Email:(atm.interbank1@sify.com)
Get back to me once you received the ATM CARD ok.
Thanks and God bless you.
MR EZE UDO.
My Response
Mr. Eze Udo,
Hell yeah! Fuckin rite dood! 2.5 Million! Man, they should call you E-Z Udo cause it's so E-Z to like, get awesome shit from you!
Dood, this is so awesome!!!!!1!!!!! I've never had an ATM before. If it only cost 125 for an ATM, how much is it for a Cleveland Steamer? Dose she chili dog it too?
How much is that? I mean, ATM must be awesome if you have to have a card for it! That like means you're special and shit!
Alright, totally sign me up. Does your secretary do anal too? I mean, if she does ATM she's gotta do anal!
Name: Methais "Hot Dog" Malone
Postal Address: 10050 Cielo Drive, Benedict Canyon, Los Angeles 90210
Phone Number: 555-555-5666
EmailAddress: Ilikebananasupmybutt@dicksniff.net
Nationality: Amer-I-Fuckin-Can!
Once that shit comes through, It'll be time for a Champange Jam!
-Hotdog.
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